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Notes Sunday night
Nov. 20th, 2016 11:32 pmAre you ready?
The woman in his life he always craved the approval of WAS of course his mother. He craved a woman's approval and attention so deeply and obsessively that all at once women grew to be his fear and his passion. He grew more and more paranoid of women by the year. Erik wanted some kind of perfect love that he could conduct. And he was far too careful to ever let a woman see him. His face was not fit for the eyes of ladies or The Lord. This he had known.
The first time Christines love nearly killed him was when she actually came back. She returned to her Maestro underground despite his ferocity and his hideous face. She returned and even she admitted that she wanted to. She was moved to with pity. He was timid as a kitten back then. What was his tipping point, I wonder. At what point did he start to plan that death of everyone would be the best way to prove his perfect love. Drop a chandelier, and your dream girl waltzes into your arms. Association of catastrophes with positive feminine attention. Maybe he really did kind of believe that if he killed a huge number of random people, their souls may merge or fuse together under the oppressive weight of those they murdered. He knew she wished to die. He knew her darker and mysterious thoughts. She trusted him in a way that was genuine and special. She dipped into some melancholy and he went running with it. So... what was her turning point... If Erik were threatening Raoul, she would have kept Raoul safe by letting him go to the arctic. No... Erik threatened HER. And didn't back down. Why on earth would he do that. We have no evidence of him beating her before she plans her escape.
He he didn't hate his mother, he feared her, pitied her, loved her... Resented her. But not hate. Not really. He used to pretend that things would have been different if she had more strength of her own. Or if father hadn't been so cruel. Yes, surely it was fathers fault or grandfathers, perhaps. She taught him to believe in himself, in his own self worth. She taught him sovereignty.
What was was her name again. There were days that he'd wake up as if from slumber and his heart would race as he searched his heart for her name. Melody melody, no, but it did sound like music Aria, caliopie, Celeste, no, my god was her name Lulu... like lullaby.
Sometimes he forgot her name for days at a time.
She he did give him music. And she did promise him his violin.
The woman in his life he always craved the approval of WAS of course his mother. He craved a woman's approval and attention so deeply and obsessively that all at once women grew to be his fear and his passion. He grew more and more paranoid of women by the year. Erik wanted some kind of perfect love that he could conduct. And he was far too careful to ever let a woman see him. His face was not fit for the eyes of ladies or The Lord. This he had known.
The first time Christines love nearly killed him was when she actually came back. She returned to her Maestro underground despite his ferocity and his hideous face. She returned and even she admitted that she wanted to. She was moved to with pity. He was timid as a kitten back then. What was his tipping point, I wonder. At what point did he start to plan that death of everyone would be the best way to prove his perfect love. Drop a chandelier, and your dream girl waltzes into your arms. Association of catastrophes with positive feminine attention. Maybe he really did kind of believe that if he killed a huge number of random people, their souls may merge or fuse together under the oppressive weight of those they murdered. He knew she wished to die. He knew her darker and mysterious thoughts. She trusted him in a way that was genuine and special. She dipped into some melancholy and he went running with it. So... what was her turning point... If Erik were threatening Raoul, she would have kept Raoul safe by letting him go to the arctic. No... Erik threatened HER. And didn't back down. Why on earth would he do that. We have no evidence of him beating her before she plans her escape.
He he didn't hate his mother, he feared her, pitied her, loved her... Resented her. But not hate. Not really. He used to pretend that things would have been different if she had more strength of her own. Or if father hadn't been so cruel. Yes, surely it was fathers fault or grandfathers, perhaps. She taught him to believe in himself, in his own self worth. She taught him sovereignty.
What was was her name again. There were days that he'd wake up as if from slumber and his heart would race as he searched his heart for her name. Melody melody, no, but it did sound like music Aria, caliopie, Celeste, no, my god was her name Lulu... like lullaby.
Sometimes he forgot her name for days at a time.
She he did give him music. And she did promise him his violin.
